TBAG goes trailer park for Second Saturday ride Aug. 11

Fluff up the mullet, shine your gold tooth and rustle up your jumpsuit. Tempe Bicycle Action Group is once again giving you a reason to get off that couch you have on your front lawn. This is going to be better than the time you made out with your cousin – it’s the white trash Second Saturday ride, Aug. 11.

Join your fellow stained and smelly wife-beater-wearing compadres at 7:30 p.m. in Tempe Beach Park. From there, we’ll be swilling cans of Bud, comparing teeth (last year’s winner had three teeth, two in his pocket) and checking out the daisy duke cutoffs in the trash-friendly dives of Tempe. Maybe later we’ll do some gator wrestlin and watch re-runs of that time uncle Jeff got on COPS. Man I love that episode.

Ain’t no fancy affair, so any and all are welcome to come.

Where: Meet at Tempe Beach Park entrance: the northwest corner of Rio Salado Parkway and Mill Avenue in Tempe. Here’s where this ol’ Trailer Court Tour is going to take us… First we’ll get some border grub and watered down drinks at Rocky Point Cantina. THEN, we’ll cruise into the neighborhood of kissin’ cousins Apache Palms RV Park & Pony Acres Mobile Home Park for a stop at TEMPE TAVERN. After winning a bar fight (cuz they was eyeballin’ Miley’s blinged-out daisey dukes) we’ll be scootin’ along to STRAY CAT Bar & Grill (you know the one, it’s next to Tempe Cascade Estates & Montecito Estates) ‎… and when we finally had enough of Kid Rock on the juke box, we’ll make a last stop at the WAFFLE HOUSE where they hopefully have added tater tot casserole & fried bologna to the menu.

When: Saturday, Aug. 11, 7:30 p.m. Ride will leave at 7:45 p.m.

Cost: Free to ride.

How: For more information, contact biketempe.org or facebook.com/biketempe